Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
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