and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
