it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
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That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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