Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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