thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize