What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
