His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
