yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
