I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
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