A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
