After last night, I could never be a politician.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
