No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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