just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
