I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize