you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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