I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
