I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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