i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
