I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
