Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
