her vagine was all disorganized.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
