dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
3 2 1 whiskey
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
