I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
