Her vagina should come with caution tape.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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