I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Randomize
