I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
