Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
