She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize