what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
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