How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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