You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
