you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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