thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize