my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
you are never too drunk for berry picking
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
