So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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