She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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