I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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