all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
