Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
