She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
