You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
