Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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