i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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