..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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