yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
