Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
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