Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
operation harelip BJ is a go
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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