just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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