hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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