No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Is this like a preordered booty call?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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