It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize