i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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