I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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