id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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