i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
In America we eat man semen.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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