these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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