we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
