Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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