He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
