I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
